Foster Care/Adoption Q & A
by Emil Baldwin, Jr. LSW
| Hopefully, the information below will give you some of the information you need to decide whether you want to become a foster or adoptive parent. However, the important thing to remember is that every area in the U.S. is slightly different. You need to contact your local office to find out what specifically is required. My state is West Virginia, so your state, county, province, etc. might require more or less. The terms foster care and adoption are used interchangeably because the requirements in West Virginia were essentially the same. Why are there different requirements in each state? The foster care and adoption programs are based on Federal law and policies, state laws and policies, agency policies, and other things such as court decisions, available staff and funding, etc. At the time of my retirement (2000), there wasn't any Federal nation-wide policy per se on licensing, training requirements, etc. States were required to do certain things in order to get Federal funding but even if they did apply for the grants, there were options available as to how they would meet these requirements. Who do I call locally? Most states have the local welfare/social services office handle the programs. If you need more help figuring out who administers the program in your area, check out the previous page on my website. Are there fees involved? Generally speaking, there were no fees involved for fostering or adoption of special-needs children. "Special-needs children" included: school-aged, those with ongoing medical conditions, races other than Caucasian, sibling groups, etc. In West Virginia adoption of normal, healthy, pre-school children was handled by private agencies who did charge fees for each service provided. What process must one go through to become a foster parent? That is hard to describe because of the above and what type of a foster parent you want to become (general care, specialized, public agency, private ageny, etc.). In WV it went something like this: The interested party called, wrote, or stopped into their local WVDHHR office for information. If they wanted to proceed, they were invited to Pre-service Training. At the time of my retirement in 2000, this was approx. 80 hours of classroom training. Both foster and adoptive applicants attended the same training since adoption in our State was often an extension of foster care (fp often adopted their foster children). If the applicant was a two-parent family, both parents were required to complete the training. Single persons could apply, however, two unmarried adults living together could not. In some cases, if the situation was deemed to be safe and in the best interests of the child, this was waived when the child was related to one or both of the applicants (brothers/sisters staying together). Next came the Homestudy, which was a written evaluation of the family based on their statements and evidence given by the family. The information gathered included: financial, health, family, employment, relationships outside the family, personal information (successes, failures, ability to handle stress, experience with children, dicipline used, etc.), and personal references.Additional requiements included: a criminal record and child abuse record search, sufficient house and bed space for the number of children they wanted, the housing had to be be deemed safe, etc. Obviously, gathering all of this documentation could take several months but it was required by Ageny, State, or Federal policy, so it had to be done before proceeding. When all of the evidence was gathered, a team evaluated the file and made a decision. If certified, the family had to attend yearly in-service training to keep their certificate active. When they got a child depended on what we and they had agreed upon. If they were interested only in normal, healthy, small children, their wait could be many months. If they would accept and were capable of parenting an older or handicapped child, sibling group, other races, etc. they usually received more placement offers. Our system allowed the parents to make the final decision as to whether they would accept a child. Not all will do that. How instrusive is the screening process and what type of information does a prospective foster family need to disclose? Most of the time spent in interviews is primarily in the applicant's home. We ask some intrusive questions but most of us tried to keep the atmosphere friendly and cordial. Many people are tense and we understood that. Essentially, the people doing the Homestudy are making a judgment on your worthiness. However, it usually doesn't have to do with their fitness as people or parents but whether they can be a foster or adoptive parent...the two are not the same. What changes can potential foster parents expect in their immediate family, their birth family, and friends? All of this depends on the preparation done and the willingness of all involved. It can be very positive, negative, or no concern at all to each section. -their relationships with their biological children We always talked with the kids in the applicant's family and encouraged the parents to listen very closely to what their children said. They also need to explain in very concrete terms what having a new addition will mean. The new kid/kids will take a lot of mom and dad's time, they may have to share their room, closet, tv selections, etc. However, even with the best of preparation, it can be a problem, so I always told them to protect their family first. If they discover they can't foster without strife, seek help. If that doesn't work..walk away from the program. Our job was to build and strenghten families, not tear existing ones apart. -relationships within their birth family Some are very supportive and loving. Some disown the applicants or at least question the sanity of anyone who would want to foster or adopt. Some families get concerned over the inheritance rights, bloodline/gene pool being contaminated, criminal or abusive behavior of the foster/adopt kids. -their relationships with friends Basically, the same as family although it usually is a more casual relationship, so there may not be any or only mild concerns expressed. What most often causes parents to leave the foster care system...burnout, age, or something else? Many came into our system because they wanted to adopt or add to their existing family. When they adopted, some few left the program but many continued. The foster/adoptive parent is often under a huge amount of stress. Read my article, Strees In The Foser Home, for more information. Consequently, burnout can be a problem. Often, I think many of the applicants discovered that the programs were not what they expected and after a time just got tired of all of the hoops they had to jump through for the agency, child's social worker, Homefinder, natural parents, legal system, etc. Despite your best preparation and training, only by experiencing the program in some form will allow you to know whether you can foster or adopt. For the parents who have been in the system for years, what makes them stay? This is one of the world's greatest mysteries. I have asked that question many times and usually gotten the response, "Oh, I just love kids!". My personal opinion, and I can't prove it statistically, is that they actually do feel good about their involvement with kids. Some include religous duty in the mix. Others have been the unofficial babysitter for their family, so they see it as their chosen vocation...what they are and do. Some actually do view it as a job (although the "pay" often doesn't exceed the expenses). But I think a large number of mine felt sympathy for the child's situation and really did believe that they were making a lasting difference in that child's life. And they were! What makes a good foster parent? They have to be loving yet firm, able to communicate with and feel comfortable with children, be resourceful, willing to work within discipline and other program guidlines yet be assertive, and be able to remain true to themselves, their family, and friends. What resources can potential foster parents consult to help them make a well-informed decision? -We always advised that they contact the child's caseworker if it was a question about parenting, caring for the child, legal issues, etc. They would discuss the issue with them and arrange whatever was deemed necessary. Usually, the caseworker was very knowledgeable about community/other resources and how to pay for them. In more serious situations, my agency would even pay for in-home services for specialized workers to come in, observe, and offer solutions. There were also regular third party reviews held to plan the child's course while in care. Most of the time the foster/adoptive parents are welcome to attend these group meetings. -If they had a question/concern about meeting certification requirements, need for specialized training, etc. they were to contact the Homefinder. -When I retired, only about 10 of my parents had PCs and an Internet connection. With their permission, I shared their email addresses, Internet links, etc. so they could commnicate with their peers and find information online. -They ought to get involved in any adoptive/fostering associations/support groups in their area. If there isn't any, start one! If you are not an organizer, participate in online groups. These groups not only offer support but valuable tips about the system and often act as a hub for advocacy and legislative changes. My agency generally supported advocacy efforts, and provided assistance, copying, meeting space, etc. However, not all personnel believed in doing so. So, even IF your agency supports the concept in principle, they may not provide more than the words, "Yes, we support advocacy.". |