by Emil Baldwin, Jr. LSW
Homepage--http://emilville.com
Email--emil@emilville.com

     My father-in-law, who was a TV repairman for many years, used to say that you shouldn't put a new tube in an old set. The efficiency of the new tube would overpower the old parts, that had grown old together, and the likelihood of failure for the whole set or individual parts would increase dramatically. His explanation of how mechanical and electronic gizmos work seems to be a rather basic observation but in truth was quite profound.

     This truth not only applies to TVs, automobiles, and other mechanical devices but can also apply to the human machine as well. Not so much as in replacement parts, implants, or prosthetic devices but more in the area of relationships in the home and workplace.

     When a new guy or gal is introduced into a set group of people, each individual member and the group as a whole will change, depending on how they view this new addition and the personality/needs/status of the new component. Examples of this would be: the birth of a child, the addition of a foster/adoptive child to an existing family with children, a new marriage with step-children, a consultant hired to "solve" problems in your workgroup, a new supervisor from another unit or office, and so on.

     Will the addition of this new "tube" to the existing "set" overload the other components and cause an early demise of the group? Ah, Grasshopper...that is the heart of the matter. Each person will have "issues" with the new addition. These feelings may be temporary or permanent, major or minor, easily resolved or never resolved, and so on. Most of them will be on a very personal level and the heart of the matter will focus on the "me" factor. In other words, "Where does this leave ME?". Will I be less... loved... respected... admired...asked for advice, etc? Will I lose power, value or worth...will anybody care if I am here?

     Fortunately, the human machine is more adaptable to change than it's mechanical counterpart. In most cases, family and work groups adapt to new additions and life goes on. However, that is not always the case, so changes to an existing group should be given serious thought before implementing. Conflict itself is a fact of life, it is not good or bad. It should be viewed and measured on the scale of cause and effect. In other words, "If I do so-and-so...so-and-so will happen.". So, the ULTIMATE question to consider is not necessarily how the existing members of the group will view the changes but where the effort will lead...to a "greater good"...or the destruction of the group.

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