Most of our most memorable experiences in life are not the ones we plan but the ones we stumble into.

      A prime example of this is my entrance into the field of social work. This career move was not a carefully crafted plan, that I had dreamed about for years. It was done for one reason only...more money. My major in college was not social work and frankly, I wasn't sure what a social worker was or what they did. But I did know that it paid more than I was making at the time and it would be a nice temporary job that I could take until something more interesting came along. Well, twenty-five years later, I am still a social worker and still waiting for something more interesting to come along.

      Over the years I have come to realize that I probably would not have developed some of the skills and talents that I have today if I had taken another job. For me, it was a stumble that paid off. Obviously, there are many other opportunities presented to us and not all are good. A good marriage...a bad marriage...children...not being able to have children...good health...bad health are just a few of the possibilities. The important thing about these opportunities are how they affect us, what we do with them, and what we learn from them.

      I recently received an E-mail from a foster parent in California who got involved in the program because she wanted to foster a little girl. Her first "little girl" was 16 years old, pregnant, and had a one-year old daughter accompanying her. The foster parent decided to go ahead and accept the placement on a trial basis. That placement was successful even though the girl had other children before turning 21. Over the last six years, this foster mom has had a total of eight placements...all teenage girls. She said, "I have a passion for teenage girls, they have such a bright future in front of them. They (all) need a home base, some place to have a connection...for always. There is no turning back after you have a child in your home. They are yours and you are theirs." When she got the call from her agency to take trio above, she could have very easily said "no" but something inside made her take a leap of faith and she stumbled into something that obviously shaped her life for the better.

      Of course, the trick to all of this is how to stumble gracefully and make a success out of something that often is totally different than what you planned or wanted. At this point you may be thinking, "So, old wise one, what is the secret?" Well, I'm not sure there is one...certainly, not a magic solution to all situations. You have to feel confident in yourself and your abilities, show a strong sense of humor (about yourself as well as others), be flexible (and open to new possibilities), be willing to "hang in there when the going get tough", know how to give and accept help, and be willing to leap into the unknown without any guarantees of success. Beyond this, I think a large part of it is just "dumb luck".

      Why would anyone put themselves "out on a limb" if there are no guarantees. Mainly, because we only grow if we do take a chance on something. Growth is almost always painful in some way or another. Growth requires us to take a risk...to extend ourselves above and beyond our limits. And finally, growth does expect us to learn how to stumble, recover, and move on...with grace.